Welcome to Dating Lesson 2 by Dating Experts (self-proclaimed) Ishaan and Archit. Apart from ugly looks, one of the main reasons why 93.69% of India's population is single, is that they can't find the right partner for them. So after years of extensive research, analysis, case studies, surveys and "hard" work, we came to the conclusion that your momma is ugly and we also found ways for people to find the right girlfriend or wife for themselves.
Mr. Einstein once said "Shit drops down the ass, it never returns back up." If you dive deeper into the meaning of the quote you'll find that Mr. Einstein wanted to tell us "You need to find the right partner for you, they won't be provided by God". So stop relying on your right hand and follow these tips.
1. The Search
The answer is simple. Go where your heart takes you. We had once advised our friend Ruben Booben to search for a partner where his heart takes him to. He started wandering the city for hours and days. He used stay up all night roaming the city, searching for his soul-mate. He eventually got kidnapped. We are pretty sure that wherever he is, he has found his partner.
2. Continue The Search Online
Keep on searching for your soul-mate on websites like Facebook and Twitter. We once gave this advice to a friend, Ajay Dickshit. He spent countless hours on Facebook, adding random people as his friends and sending messages to every user he could find. On March 25, his computer got hacked and three days later his house got bombed. Like always, our advice led to good results.
3. Behavioral Patterns
Now listen carefully kids, you must immediately propose a girl if she :
4. Grabbing Opportunities
Whenever you see an opportunity, grab it! Try connecting with every girl you meet. One of our friends, Praveen Thambe from Pimpri, followed this advice of ours. He once walked up to a lady in a paan shop. He tried to flirt with her and also bought her a paan. In about ten minutes, her husband drove up to the shop in his Innova and shot him six times in the head. He was a local don.
Mr. Einstein once said "Shit drops down the ass, it never returns back up." If you dive deeper into the meaning of the quote you'll find that Mr. Einstein wanted to tell us "You need to find the right partner for you, they won't be provided by God". So stop relying on your right hand and follow these tips.
1. The Search
The answer is simple. Go where your heart takes you. We had once advised our friend Ruben Booben to search for a partner where his heart takes him to. He started wandering the city for hours and days. He used stay up all night roaming the city, searching for his soul-mate. He eventually got kidnapped. We are pretty sure that wherever he is, he has found his partner.
2. Continue The Search Online
Keep on searching for your soul-mate on websites like Facebook and Twitter. We once gave this advice to a friend, Ajay Dickshit. He spent countless hours on Facebook, adding random people as his friends and sending messages to every user he could find. On March 25, his computer got hacked and three days later his house got bombed. Like always, our advice led to good results.
3. Behavioral Patterns
Now listen carefully kids, you must immediately propose a girl if she :
- has a high-paying job.
- is an alcoholic or a drug addict (preferably addicted to cocaine or weed).
- beats children.
- pisses in public. You can even have a public piss-off showdown with her.
- loves eating ChavanPrash
- cheats during fasts (preferably Karva Chauth).
4. Grabbing Opportunities
Whenever you see an opportunity, grab it! Try connecting with every girl you meet. One of our friends, Praveen Thambe from Pimpri, followed this advice of ours. He once walked up to a lady in a paan shop. He tried to flirt with her and also bought her a paan. In about ten minutes, her husband drove up to the shop in his Innova and shot him six times in the head. He was a local don.
The ones finding for some funn and laughter atleast, ur good to go!
ReplyDeleteAtleast comedy nights with kapil sey kaafi better haina -.-