Welcome to Dating Lesson 1 with dating experts (self proclaimed) Ishaan and Archit. I know it's weird to base the very first lesson on "Breaking Up" but believe me it's important because learning to undo mistakes is an essential basic.
Let me mention beforehand, if you are in a happy relationship and enjoying life... Get out of my blog! This post is for those weak guys (90%) who have strong and dominant girlfriends who will twist you up like a pretzel on hearing the word "break up". If you are such a person (we know you are, so don't be a sleazy bastard :D). please continue reading. This is a guide on how to get out of such relationships safely.
Most Holy Books say that one must take any measures to be happy in life, then why stay in a relationship just because you're being forced to, learn to break up. Now I would like to quote a popular chant from the Bible - Chomba 69:14 - "If someone is trapped in a dangerous relationship, O God please save him. Amen!".
Lesson 1 : Go Bananas
Behave like a crazy asshole! If you already are one, just be yourself. Let me tell you the story of my friend named Raj Muthmare who was fed up with his girlfriend and crossed all limits to break up. He and his girlfriend were in Cafe Coffee Day, when Raj suddenly stood up on the cash counter, took off his T shirt and started rubbing his nipples, up and down, slowly yet gracefully, with such immense vigor and passion, making loud sexual sounds. His girlfriend ran out of the shop like a wild boblo and never contacted him again. He was a free man.
Lesson 2: No Ball
Act like you're gay. There are hundreds of ways to do that. Spend crazy amount of time around boys, store gay porn in your phone and let her discover it, purchase a couple of pink T shirts, start listening to One Direction, just try to make her believe that you're turning gay, she'll leave you.
Lesson 3: I'm Outta Here!
This is a tip that I do not recommend, but if you're crazy enough to try it, I won't stop you. Do something unforgivable. Dating expert Archit once flushed his girlfriend's cell phone down the toilet. He immediately escaped the spot and kept out of her sight for the rest of the year. One of my friends also reached the extent of giving his girlfriend a boy-cut while she was asleep (I know, I have fucked-up friends).
Lesson 4: Going Gangsta!
This is a trick that Dating expert Ishaan has used himself. I started making my girlfriend think that I was associated with dangerous people. I started making fake phone calls about drug deals and shit. Then one day, I invited her to a party at my house. I had my friends dressed up as and behave like "taporis" at the party. At the party, I spoke to my friends as if they were some kind of illegal business partners (drug dealers). She got scared as shit and stayed away from me for the rest of her life.
Disclaimer: Please do not try any of these tricks if your girlfriend is related in any way to politicians, drug dealers, serial killers, mass murderers, suicide bombers or even criminal organizations like the Mafia, Taliban, ISIS or Yakuza.
By Ishaan and Archit
Ph.D in Dating and Relationships
Let me mention beforehand, if you are in a happy relationship and enjoying life... Get out of my blog! This post is for those weak guys (90%) who have strong and dominant girlfriends who will twist you up like a pretzel on hearing the word "break up". If you are such a person (we know you are, so don't be a sleazy bastard :D). please continue reading. This is a guide on how to get out of such relationships safely.
Most Holy Books say that one must take any measures to be happy in life, then why stay in a relationship just because you're being forced to, learn to break up. Now I would like to quote a popular chant from the Bible - Chomba 69:14 - "If someone is trapped in a dangerous relationship, O God please save him. Amen!".
Lesson 1 : Go Bananas
Behave like a crazy asshole! If you already are one, just be yourself. Let me tell you the story of my friend named Raj Muthmare who was fed up with his girlfriend and crossed all limits to break up. He and his girlfriend were in Cafe Coffee Day, when Raj suddenly stood up on the cash counter, took off his T shirt and started rubbing his nipples, up and down, slowly yet gracefully, with such immense vigor and passion, making loud sexual sounds. His girlfriend ran out of the shop like a wild boblo and never contacted him again. He was a free man.
Lesson 2: No Ball
Act like you're gay. There are hundreds of ways to do that. Spend crazy amount of time around boys, store gay porn in your phone and let her discover it, purchase a couple of pink T shirts, start listening to One Direction, just try to make her believe that you're turning gay, she'll leave you.
Lesson 3: I'm Outta Here!
This is a tip that I do not recommend, but if you're crazy enough to try it, I won't stop you. Do something unforgivable. Dating expert Archit once flushed his girlfriend's cell phone down the toilet. He immediately escaped the spot and kept out of her sight for the rest of the year. One of my friends also reached the extent of giving his girlfriend a boy-cut while she was asleep (I know, I have fucked-up friends).
Lesson 4: Going Gangsta!
This is a trick that Dating expert Ishaan has used himself. I started making my girlfriend think that I was associated with dangerous people. I started making fake phone calls about drug deals and shit. Then one day, I invited her to a party at my house. I had my friends dressed up as and behave like "taporis" at the party. At the party, I spoke to my friends as if they were some kind of illegal business partners (drug dealers). She got scared as shit and stayed away from me for the rest of her life.
Disclaimer: Please do not try any of these tricks if your girlfriend is related in any way to politicians, drug dealers, serial killers, mass murderers, suicide bombers or even criminal organizations like the Mafia, Taliban, ISIS or Yakuza.
By Ishaan and Archit
Ph.D in Dating and Relationships
Way tooo good! laughed my ass off man!! Archit _/\_!! keep up this funn writing man
ReplyDeleteThanx bro ^^ follow the blog for upcoming posts and hope you shared it with your friends and homies mah bruh :3 :D
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ReplyDeleteThis post is so true!
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