Welcome again to another post on our humble blog - Punjab Da Munna, where we shitpost and spam provide you with the most valuable information on life, love and how to not be a loser. While our three-part Dating Series was a huge hit among the loners and the sexually deprived, we here at Punjab Da Munna are always excited to explore new areas; and so we now bring to you The Realities of Being a Food Addict, which we're sure will be a huge hit among the obese and the hungry. Moving on...
I'm Ishaan and this is a post about my life as a food addict.
1. Every Shit I Take is an Emergency. Unlike most of you, who stop eating when you're stomach is full; I eat till my stomach almost erupts and I freakin' hate myself. Then somehow I manage to stumble my way to the toilet and shoot it all out in a half an hour shit-session. Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? It is.
2. Healthy Food? No, Thanks. Apples and oranges aren't considered 'food' by a food addict. And if you try to give a food addict a plate of salad, he'll give you a mean, ugly stare as if you shot his pet dog. So, we're basically allergic to healthy food.
3. No? Imma Take It Anyway! If you've ever decided to sit with a food addict in a canteen/restaurant, I'm sure you can testify that it was the worst decision you've ever made. The amount a food-addict eats is approximately equal to the monthly food supply of an African family. So when he finishes his own plate, he is surely going to grab random food-items present around him, not giving a damn who they belong to.
4. Food Is Our Ultimate Concern. Believe me or not, I had a girlfriend. But I stopped dating as soon as I became a food addict. Who needs a partner when you've got food? All they do is make you share your pizzas anyway! Food is the ultimate priority for a food addict. If you see a food addict with a job, he's probably doing it to fund his daily trips to McDonalds.
5. I was planning on a fifth point. But screw it, I gotta go finish my three-storey cheeseburger.
I'm Ishaan and this is a post about my life as a food addict.
1. Every Shit I Take is an Emergency. Unlike most of you, who stop eating when you're stomach is full; I eat till my stomach almost erupts and I freakin' hate myself. Then somehow I manage to stumble my way to the toilet and shoot it all out in a half an hour shit-session. Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? It is.
2. Healthy Food? No, Thanks. Apples and oranges aren't considered 'food' by a food addict. And if you try to give a food addict a plate of salad, he'll give you a mean, ugly stare as if you shot his pet dog. So, we're basically allergic to healthy food.
3. No? Imma Take It Anyway! If you've ever decided to sit with a food addict in a canteen/restaurant, I'm sure you can testify that it was the worst decision you've ever made. The amount a food-addict eats is approximately equal to the monthly food supply of an African family. So when he finishes his own plate, he is surely going to grab random food-items present around him, not giving a damn who they belong to.
4. Food Is Our Ultimate Concern. Believe me or not, I had a girlfriend. But I stopped dating as soon as I became a food addict. Who needs a partner when you've got food? All they do is make you share your pizzas anyway! Food is the ultimate priority for a food addict. If you see a food addict with a job, he's probably doing it to fund his daily trips to McDonalds.
5. I was planning on a fifth point. But screw it, I gotta go finish my three-storey cheeseburger.
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