Welcome, once again, to another Dating Lesson by dating experts (self-proclaimed) Ishaan and Archit. Now that we have covered the basics, let's start with another basic. Proposing is a crucial event, your life depends on it. If a proposal fails, you are single (like the writers of this article) and being single sucks. Being single is like the feeling you get after pooping - you feel relaxed but you are actually empty inside.
So let me mention beforehand who this article is for not. If you weigh more than 90kg then get out of here, just give up, you have no chance of getting a girlfriend. The rest of you all, please continue reading, this post may help you do something with you miserable lives (just like the writers of this blog are trying to). So, without further delay, let's begin.
1. Be Yourself
A lot of people try "acting like a playa". You're unique, be yourself, but just remember to be confident. We had a friend who was an asshole. He planned to propose his girlfriend at dinner at Mainland China. We told him to be himself. So this is how things went -
Boy: You know how hot you're making me feel right now?
Girl: Nope
Boy: Words can't explain it, let me show you.
*Throws steaming hot soup on her lap*
Three hours later he was stripped naked and beaten up with a baseball bat by her Haryanvi brother.
2. Be Different
Making a card, or just saying "Will you be my girlfriend" is so common and stupid. There are so many more creative ways, like sending her flowers along with a perfumed letter in a pink envelope containing a poem you wrote for her or writing her a song on guitar, etc. A friend of ours, Human Tambe (pronouncd Hoo-Man) sent two of his poems to his crush, which were -
a. If your daddy refuses to give your hand in marriage, I don't care,
I just love your armpit hair.
I just love your armpit hair.
b. Jab Tum Angdahi Leti Ho, Mera Dum Ghut Jata Hai,
Thoda Perfume Lagane Me Tumhara Kya Jaata Hai?
25 hours later, we received a call from the doctor saying that Human was in a coma due to heavy punches to his head.
3. Don't Fear Rejection
Being rejected is a part of life, it happens to everyone (especially to the writers of this blog). Learn from your failures and move on. A friend named Anoon Mashoop got rejected, the very next day he gave up city-life and renounced all worldly ties. He now resides in a jungle, far away from humans, busy discovering the meaning of life,
4. Choose The Right Time and Place
Propose her at the right moment, a time when she is free and a place where she is comfortable. A guy named Chaman Bambu followed this step well. He decided to propose his crush at a time he thought she would be surprised and totally blown away. While she was in the toilet, Chaman tried opening the door. Finding it locked, he kicked the door down and revealed his feelings to her. I have been invited to his funeral, which will be held tomorrow.
Disclaimer: This post has been brought to you by two people, highly experienced in the field of dating. After countless rejections and lonely nights, we have found out (almost) all the secrets that there are to dating and relationships.
By Ishaan and Archit
Ph.D in Dating and Relationships
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