Welcome back to yet another dating lesson by dating experts Ishaan and Archit (self-proclaimed). To master the art of dating, it is essential to learn from the mistakes of lesser people. So here is a compilation of some of the worst dates in the country.
PS: These stories are absolutely true.
1. The Deal-Breaker
It was the first time Sameer Muthaiyya had got a girlfriend. Quite naturally, he was desperate and eager to spend time with her. So, the incident took place on a normal Saturday night. Sameer's girlfriend had specially instructed him not to visit her on weekends, but he decided to give her a surprise.
When Sameer, standing with chocolates and flowers in his hands, rang his girlfriend's bell; nobody answered. So, as every dumbass would do, he tried entering through her drawing room window. What Sameer didn't know was that his girlfriend's family were a part of the Indian Mafia, and he had just interrupted one of their biggest drug deals. As he was climbing inside, Sameer was shot in the head twice by each member of the family.
2. "Loose" Yourself
Bobby Tattwarlal wasn't like us. Since childhood, he had been suffering from loose motions and stomach problems everyday. So when his girlfriend invited him to Mainland China for lunch, he refused... until she forcefully dragged him along anyway.
At the restaurant, Bobby could feel the pressure building with every strand of noodle he slurped in. He was farting (silently) every 30 seconds. But it was only when he finished his 5th momo, that the major fatality occurred. A loud explosive sound similar to "Pooooooo!" escaped his ass, and Bobby realized he had shit his pants. The whole restaurant, startled by the noise, was staring at him. The severe stink spread around in no time and the place was filled with obnoxious gases. As you may have guessed, the restaurant was evacuated and Bobby was arrested.
3. No Pain, No Gain
Jadiaa Singh's new girlfriend was a little weird. She spoke very little and acted awkwardly around people. One day, she invited Jadiaa for the night of his life (again, if you know what I mean). At her house, as Jadiaa lay on the bed, he saw his girlfriend open a cupboard containing a whip, chains, and sharp objects that were beyond his imagination. Turning to him, she said "I'm into BDSM".
Nobody knows what exactly happened in the house, but Jadiaa ran out the door still naked and started sprinting around his society for the next half an hour in shock, screaming phrases like "Haath hata!" and "Jaane de na!" People who saw him include - his teachers, their kids, the local dhobiwala and his dog, homeless people and also Salman Khan who later drove over those homeless people.
PS: These stories are absolutely true.
1. The Deal-Breaker
It was the first time Sameer Muthaiyya had got a girlfriend. Quite naturally, he was desperate and eager to spend time with her. So, the incident took place on a normal Saturday night. Sameer's girlfriend had specially instructed him not to visit her on weekends, but he decided to give her a surprise.
When Sameer, standing with chocolates and flowers in his hands, rang his girlfriend's bell; nobody answered. So, as every dumbass would do, he tried entering through her drawing room window. What Sameer didn't know was that his girlfriend's family were a part of the Indian Mafia, and he had just interrupted one of their biggest drug deals. As he was climbing inside, Sameer was shot in the head twice by each member of the family.
2. "Loose" Yourself
Bobby Tattwarlal wasn't like us. Since childhood, he had been suffering from loose motions and stomach problems everyday. So when his girlfriend invited him to Mainland China for lunch, he refused... until she forcefully dragged him along anyway.
At the restaurant, Bobby could feel the pressure building with every strand of noodle he slurped in. He was farting (silently) every 30 seconds. But it was only when he finished his 5th momo, that the major fatality occurred. A loud explosive sound similar to "Pooooooo!" escaped his ass, and Bobby realized he had shit his pants. The whole restaurant, startled by the noise, was staring at him. The severe stink spread around in no time and the place was filled with obnoxious gases. As you may have guessed, the restaurant was evacuated and Bobby was arrested.
3. No Pain, No Gain
Jadiaa Singh's new girlfriend was a little weird. She spoke very little and acted awkwardly around people. One day, she invited Jadiaa for the night of his life (again, if you know what I mean). At her house, as Jadiaa lay on the bed, he saw his girlfriend open a cupboard containing a whip, chains, and sharp objects that were beyond his imagination. Turning to him, she said "I'm into BDSM".
Nobody knows what exactly happened in the house, but Jadiaa ran out the door still naked and started sprinting around his society for the next half an hour in shock, screaming phrases like "Haath hata!" and "Jaane de na!" People who saw him include - his teachers, their kids, the local dhobiwala and his dog, homeless people and also Salman Khan who later drove over those homeless people.
