1. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word.
2. Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. What a poor fellow.
3. A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building
He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential".
4. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
5. Women only call him ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call him ugly and poor.
6. What did the pirate say when he was 80.
Aye Matey!
7. Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how to feel about that.
8. Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors.
Because, if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
9. I tries to catch the fog.
I mist.
10. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
11. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the No-Bell prize.
12. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
13. Why did the bee get married?
Because he found his honey.
14. Which word becomes shorter when you add to letter to it?
Short
2. Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. What a poor fellow.
3. A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building
He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential".
4. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
5. Women only call him ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call him ugly and poor.
6. What did the pirate say when he was 80.
Aye Matey!
7. Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how to feel about that.
8. Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors.
Because, if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
9. I tries to catch the fog.
I mist.
10. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
11. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the No-Bell prize.
12. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
13. Why did the bee get married?
Because he found his honey.
14. Which word becomes shorter when you add to letter to it?
Short
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